At a track meet this past week I was involved in an interaction that was pretty ridiculous. So ridiculous in fact that it made my daughter cry for roughly 15 minutes. Keep on reading to get the story…
I coach the throwers on a high school track team and a few times each week, our daughter joins me for practice or meets. The athletes are great to her and she loves being out there and is practically a part of the team. At this particular meet, the throwing area was blocked off from the fans for safety reasons and it was meant to be a low traffic zone for foot traffic. During the meet I had been walking back and forth between the javelin and shot put area and on one of these trips I get stopped by a volunteer official and she starts going off on me. In her mind, I was a fan walking around with a child and my movement and constant motion was a distraction to the throwers and yada yada yada. I told her I was a coach and I am wishing our female shot putters luck. She continued to go on and it got to the point where I interrupted her chatter and said the message was received. She kept talking and I said again that the message was received. She got the hint. It was the kindest way I could think of for telling her to stop talking and let me wish the kids luck! Now, thinking back on this, there are three things that happened here that apply to athletics and life in general. The first is the idea that an external distraction will affect performance. It is our job as coaches to prepare our kids to handle adversity in whatever form it may come. It could be kids being loud, people moving around, rude judges or officials, or even a groundhog running around the throwing area (this also happened that day). We cannot control the things that go on around us but we can control our response. Outside distractions will derail us if we let them! The next lesson comes courtesy of Epictetus, a man who walked the earth around 100 AD. During his time this stoic thinker wrote many great lines but this one resonated with me after this interaction: “If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control.” Gosh this lady got me heated for a moment and the interaction really tested me in following the great stoic advice. It would have been a poor example of me if I would have gotten into a yelling match with someone while my daughter and the athletes I coach were present. I am always talking to them about how they respond and this was a moment where they could see their coach practice what they preach. I am glad I didn’t blow it! The last lesson is geared towards being a father to a little girl that is still trying to sort out the world. Due to the ladies tone of voice and her instructions for us to go “sit in the grass” Emi felt like she was doing something wrong and it hurt her feelings. She told me she wanted to leave and all this stuff but it led to a conversation later about how you speak to someone matters and how to handle rudeness. I didn’t want that one interaction to ruin her day because I knew she enjoyed being out there. It took some time but we got through it. Fast forward 75 minutes and the lady comes over to talk to me. She doesn’t apologize but goes on to compliment some of our throwers and their potential to do some great things this year. It turns out I know her son and the conversation was pleasant. I told Emi that just because the person was unkind once doesn’t mean they are always that way and that they may have just had a moment. I am hoping that lesson is remembered in that little mind of hers! I hope you all have a great week, Chris
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