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Eleven years ago, I received a phone call that forever changed my life. It was a Sunday morning and I was working at a private gym on the outskirts of Easton, Pa. In between appointments I went into the office to check the time and noticed I had a missed call from my mother. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to receive a call from her but on a Sunday morning at an early hour, it seemed a little odd. I took a moment to check the voicemail and it was only a few seconds as she asked me to give her a call back. There was something in the tone of her voice that told me this wasn’t just a regular check in. It sounded as if something was amiss. After the session ended I called her back and she said, “He is gone, Chris. Ryan is gone.”
At the time of receiving the news, I didn't have to ask any whys or hows. For over 5 years, my brother was struggling with drug addiction and he just couldn't seem to shake it. As I think back, I wonder if there is anything that could have been done to help steer him in the right direction. Did something happen that led him down the path or was it just a series of events that eventually led him there? I know these types of questions cannot be answered nor do they serve much of a purpose as the past cannot be changed but yet I wonder. I wonder because as I take a look around and play this game of “what ifs”, I ask, “Are we any better off now?” Since receiving that call, things in America have been continually changing. Life expectancy, for example, saw a rise every decade following World War II until sometime around 2010 where it began to level and since then has fallen. The culprit behind this can be debated but I do know one thing for sure and that is that what is labeled as “Deaths of Despair” (suicide, overdose, and alcohol related death) has been rising at a fast rate. This triad is the fastest rising death rate among Americans and seems to really hit the 25-49 year old demographic hard. These deaths have increased exponentially between the years of 1999 and today. Deaths from drug overdoses increased by nearly 400%, alcoholic liver disease increased by 40.6%, and suicide rates increased by over 40%. In 2022 alone over 110,000 people died from illicit drug use! So what is causing all of this? In 1897, French sociologist Émile Durkheim defined a certain type of death as an “anomic suicides” — anomic meaning alienated — in his book “Le Suicide.” These deaths, he argued, were a result from a breakdown in social equilibrium or social norms, or when individuals believe there is a lack of communal spirit or conclude the government is indifferent to their needs. Those exact feelings are ever present in today’s culture and the result of that is catastrophic. Insecurity, deprivation, the loss of possibilities, the lack of belonging, hopelessness, and social maladjustment lead to negative emotions including loneliness, unhappiness, worry, and stress that in turn lead individuals to experience more pain both physical and psychological. Rising unhappiness may have increased the demand for ways to numb or end despair, such that the cumulative effects show up years later in the form of higher death rates. Today is no different. So where does that leave us? For many people struggling, destruction of everything is the easy route to take. Reconstruction is difficult and the task seems daunting but I will say this, it will be worth it on the other side. Human beings are resilient and they can overcome. They have done it time and time again over the course of history and will continue to do so. The one amazing thing about all this is that you can accomplish great things too. We are all, after all human and because of that, have the ability to be brave, fight for something that is important, show courage, and conquer whatever setbacks life seems to throw at us. There are so many more things to admire in this world than there are to despise. We just need to open our eyes to them! I hope you all have a great week, Chris
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Health Tip of the Week
Do you have rhythm? Some of you may be visualizing yourself on the dance floor but that is not the type of rhythm I am talking about. The type of rhythm I do want to discuss has to do with the seasons. It has to do with the ebbs and flows over the course of the year and how you use that to create a fitness plan that is best suitable for your life. As the season changes and the weather begins to look more spring-like, I encourage you all to take a self assessment on what you are doing for exercise and think about syncing up with the season. If you spent all winter couped up in a gym, put the weights down for a period of time and get outside for some walking, hiking, running, or some bodyweight exercises at a local park. Sign up for a race or walk, join some friends for some outdoor fun, or do anything else you can think of that runs counter to the options that winter provides. The body and mind will embrace the new challenge, appreciate the variety, and in the end, so too will your overall health! What I've Been Thinking About... What year do you think the following quotes were written:
If you guessed over 2,000 years ago, you would have been spot on! The above quotes are all from Marcus Aurelius (121 AD - 180 AD) and he is not the only thinker of that time period who had some gems. Look up names like Seneca (4BC - 65 AD) and Epictetus (50 AD - 135 AD) and you will be equally impressed. So how did they know so much and why are these ideas something that we still struggle with today? Is it part of the human experience to be sensitive to judgment, focus on the external, and lack discipline? Are these issues things that man or woman will always experience? After thinking on this, I came to the realization that we all kind of have an operating system like a computer. The human operating system has innate mechanisms that make us who we are. It has the need or longing to be a part of a community, it wants to be accepted, it strives for improvement, it is resilient and empathic. Those are the good traits. Unfortunately, there is also a dark side to our human operating system. Things like the ego, manipulation, greed, lust, power etc. all shade our judgment and lead us down a path that we may not be proud of. The next talking point is a perfect example of just that... What I've Been Watching... Krishnas: Gurus. Karma. Murder I first heard of this story listening to an American Scandal podcast a few years ago so when I came across the three episode series, I had to check it out. The story is as old as man. It doesn't seem to matter what decade or century we look at, there are examples of how one charismatic and/or manipulative leader gains a following and uses that power to illicit things that benefit himself and maybe those in his inner circle. At one point during the show, they share the quote “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely”. This story of the Hare Krishnas in West Virginia is a perfect example of that. What I've Been Listening To... Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier This is an author who is not afraid to stick her neck and say some controversial things which is something I admire about her work. In her latest book, she takes a look at the rise in popularity of therapy and other mental health modalities for kids. With all the resources we have, the rate of anxiety, depression, and other diagnoses are at an all-time high. The cause of this is multi-factorial and up for debate but there is one thing you can't argue with and that is the fact that on the whole, things are not working the way we had hoped. There is so much more to this book but I think it is an important one to read if you are a parent. Quote of the Week “If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.” – Seth Godin I hope you all have an awesome week!Chris Fluck At a track meet this past week I was involved in an interaction that was pretty ridiculous. So ridiculous in fact that it made my daughter cry for roughly 15 minutes. Keep on reading to get the story…
I coach the throwers on a high school track team and a few times each week, our daughter joins me for practice or meets. The athletes are great to her and she loves being out there and is practically a part of the team. At this particular meet, the throwing area was blocked off from the fans for safety reasons and it was meant to be a low traffic zone for foot traffic. During the meet I had been walking back and forth between the javelin and shot put area and on one of these trips I get stopped by a volunteer official and she starts going off on me. In her mind, I was a fan walking around with a child and my movement and constant motion was a distraction to the throwers and yada yada yada. I told her I was a coach and I am wishing our female shot putters luck. She continued to go on and it got to the point where I interrupted her chatter and said the message was received. She kept talking and I said again that the message was received. She got the hint. It was the kindest way I could think of for telling her to stop talking and let me wish the kids luck! Now, thinking back on this, there are three things that happened here that apply to athletics and life in general. The first is the idea that an external distraction will affect performance. It is our job as coaches to prepare our kids to handle adversity in whatever form it may come. It could be kids being loud, people moving around, rude judges or officials, or even a groundhog running around the throwing area (this also happened that day). We cannot control the things that go on around us but we can control our response. Outside distractions will derail us if we let them! The next lesson comes courtesy of Epictetus, a man who walked the earth around 100 AD. During his time this stoic thinker wrote many great lines but this one resonated with me after this interaction: “If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control.” Gosh this lady got me heated for a moment and the interaction really tested me in following the great stoic advice. It would have been a poor example of me if I would have gotten into a yelling match with someone while my daughter and the athletes I coach were present. I am always talking to them about how they respond and this was a moment where they could see their coach practice what they preach. I am glad I didn’t blow it! The last lesson is geared towards being a father to a little girl that is still trying to sort out the world. Due to the ladies tone of voice and her instructions for us to go “sit in the grass” Emi felt like she was doing something wrong and it hurt her feelings. She told me she wanted to leave and all this stuff but it led to a conversation later about how you speak to someone matters and how to handle rudeness. I didn’t want that one interaction to ruin her day because I knew she enjoyed being out there. It took some time but we got through it. Fast forward 75 minutes and the lady comes over to talk to me. She doesn’t apologize but goes on to compliment some of our throwers and their potential to do some great things this year. It turns out I know her son and the conversation was pleasant. I told Emi that just because the person was unkind once doesn’t mean they are always that way and that they may have just had a moment. I am hoping that lesson is remembered in that little mind of hers! I hope you all have a great week, Chris Health Tip of the Week
Mood-related disorders pose an enormous public health burden. There is ample evidence that things like exercise and meditation can help mitigate some of those symptoms that we all may be experiencing. The NIH published a study (research link here) that concluded that in a young population, a 10-minute bout of brisk walking and/or meditation can improve mood state. They went on to cite another study that "found five 20-minute sessions of integrative meditation to significantly reduce anxiety, depression, anger, and fatigue while increasing vigor." Better mood and more energy. Sounds like a win-win! As you can see, the best part about these two ideas are that they are both things that we can literally do right now. We can close up the laptop, put on some shoes, and go for a 10 minute walk around the block. If that doesn't sound too appealing, we can put on some headphones, listen to a meditation, and find some peace or gratitude. What I've Been Thinking About... I was having a conversation with a guy who I deem to be a friend and mentor and as we were discussing the sport of wrestling, the conversation went to the idea of words and actions meeting up. For example, as a coach, if we act like a maniac on the sidelines but tell our athletes not to do the same, the verbal message may not stick because our physical action ran counter to it. Same thing as a parent where if we ask our kids to get good rest and show up to things on time but we stay up late and are always running behind schedule then they are more likely to learn from the lateness then the verbal instruction. Lastly, when it comes to goal setting, if we say we want to accomplish XYZ but barely put in the work to accomplish X, then we have no one else to blame then ourselves for not striving to do what is necessary. This was only a small glimpse of things we discussed and if you want the full episode, check out my latest podcast episode with Grit Mat Club Owner Ben Chunko! What I've Been Reading Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Brown "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West is a 1970 non-fiction book by American writer Dee Brown that covers the history of Native Americans in the American West in the late nineteenth century." As previously written, the 1800's were a wild time in this country and this book takes a unique approach to the history of our country as it views the conflict through the eyes of the American Indian. Through his amazing research and reading first hand accounts from the Natives themselves, Brown did an awesome job telling this sad but true story about this country of ours. What I've Been Watching... Bumping Mics on Netflix with Jeff Ross & Dave Attell from 2018 When Ross and Attell take the stage, no one in the building is safe. They roast each other, they work the crowd, and they even poke fun at their celebrity friends (Gilbert Gottfried, Paul Rudd, Michael Che, Bob Saget, and more) who come out to see two great comics take the stage. My favorite part of it all is that through all the jokes, you can tell these two guys have a wonderful friendship and really love the time spent together. One disclaimer: if comedy offends you, then this one may not be for you! Quote of the Week “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. ” ― Seneca Oftentimes I find myself thinking about how people get on the path they are on. Is there some sort of innate pull that leads them to make certain decisions, are the decisions predetermined based on your previous life experiences, or is it all chance? I am going to share an incredible story about Joshua Chamberlain, a college professor who left it all behind to volunteer for the Union Army and change the course of the war.
Let me set the stage here for a moment. Imagine it is July of 1863, the Civil War has been going on for roughly two years and Robert E. Lee has decided to move the conflict out of the South and take the fight to the fields of the North. As they made their move and marched through the farmlands of Pennsylvania, they received word that the Union Army was moving fast in their direction. This was an unexpected turn of events as both sides practically stumbled upon each other in a remote area. It was as if Gettysburg chose to play host for a battle rather than the other way around. The stage was set for a conflict. Commands were given and the troops got their assignments, Joshua Chamberlain and his group of volunteers were placed on top of a hill that would be known as Little Round Top. As he got his men up on the hill he looked to the left and suddenly realized something: There was nobody else out there. They were at the end of the line. If the Rebels decided to attack his position in an effort to flank and overrun, it would be his men there to defend it. And attack they did… The day was July 2nd and shortly after 4 pm, the charge began. The Rebels poured man after man at this location in an effort to overtake this position. Time after time, the North fended them off but Chamberlain realized that if this continued, supplies would run short and they would eventually run out of ammunition. His orders were to hold the line at all costs and it was time to make a decision: pull his men back and retreat like many other Union leaders or defend the hill with all they have. Chamberlain chose the latter and ordered a counterattack. He told his men to fix bayonets and charge. Picture a few hundred Union men running downhill with spears, yelling, screaming, and eventually, overtaking the opposition. The stunned Rebels had no idea what to do and most of them ended up dropping their weapons and surrendering. Strategically, Little Round Top held the key to the developing battle occurring in the North. If the Southern troops could take and hold the hill, they could theoretically roll up the entire Union line causing massive casualties and retreat. The Rebels would have then continued their plunge into the North with the end goal being to reach Washington. This was stopped in Gettysburg and Chamberlain’s decision began to shift the war in favor of the Union. One man making one decision changed the course of the war, which changed the course of our country, which inevitably changed the world! Now to think, at the start of this war, this was a man lecturing students on language and rhetoric. Without giving prior notice to anyone (his wife was not happy), he volunteered and this decision would eventually play a major role in how our country was shaped. If he would have listened to everyone close to him, he would have kept his safe, cushy job at Bowdoin but he wanted more out of life. He followed his heart, joined the cause, and made an impact on the world. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Chris I Have What?
A little over two weeks ago I woke up one morning with a slight pain in my ear. The next morning it progressed to ear and head and a small rash on my temple made an appearance. These symptoms progressed for a few days where the rash spread to around my mouth and the pain began to get more intense. I went to urgent care and the diagnosis was a classic case of shingles. I thought this was a virus that typically afflicted the elderly community but as I talk to more and more people about it, I have learned that they have had it in their 20's, 30's and 40's. (Side note: Upon looking at the rash, Marisa diagnosed it right away. I should probably start listening to her!) When you look up what typically brings shingles on in a younger population it is either stress induced or a weakened immune system. Which brings me to my next point... Health Tip of the Week The same week that I came down with shingles, I sent Marisa a text that simply read: "I am an idiot". The reason for that message was due to my schedule for this spring. Finding time for two businesses, teaching phys ed, coaching a youth/middle school track team, and most recently I accepted a position at my former high school to coach Track has been a challenge. It has left me running around in circles and I believe this could have played a role in this most recent ailment. So, this weeks tip is more of a reminder to myself and for anyone who this may apply to: The body keeps score. Everything that you do that may induce stress (workouts, sleep, diet, work, family life, business, etc.) adds up and the body will hold on to it. If you do not take the time to rest, recover and restore eventually some illness, virus, or ailment will show its ugly little head and force you to take time for yourself. What I've Been Watching... Oppenheimer on Peacock I spent a few days resting in bed during this shingles situation and I used the time to get caught up on watching a few things. Leading up to viewing, I knew Oppenheimer was a man who had an incredible ability as a physicist but also someone who was troubled about what they were working on. As he later uttered after the deployment of the atomic bomb, "Now I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds". He feared what would be next and it reminded me of the Albert Einstein quote: "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones". This was a very good movie, one in which I plan on watching again. Full disclaimer, it is 3 hours long so make sure you block out some time or watch it in small chunks like it is a Netflix series. Question of the Week... Can you have peace without forgiveness? I just finished a great book titled Killer Angels about the Battle of Gettysburg. At the end of the book, it gives a little insight on how the war finally concluded, two years after the bloodshed that occurred on the Pennsylvania farmlands. At one point, after the Rebel army surrendered, Northern men began applauding in celebration but were told to stop and rather than cheer, salute their former opposition. Lincoln and many of the leaders knew that if the Union was to be restored, then forgiveness must take priority over ill feelings. This concept applies to our personal lives as well. We will make decisions that we will eventually regret. It is at these points that we have a choice to make: feel down and be critical of oneself or learn to forgive our former self and work on healing. To find inner peace, we must do what the North did and forgive. Sticking with this theme, I really like the quote below from MLK... Quote of the Week “And in every one of us, there's a war going on. It's a civil war. I don't care who you are, I don't care where you live, there is a civil war going on in your life. And every time you set out to be good, there's something pulling on you, telling you to be evil. It's going on in your life. Every time you set out to love, something keeps pulling on you, trying to get you to hate. Every time you set out to be kind and say nice things about people, something is pulling on you to be jealous and envious and to spread evil gossip about them. There's a civil war going on. There is a schizophrenia, as the psychologists or the psychiatrists would call it, going on within all of us. And there are times that all of us know somehow that there is a Mr. Hyde and a Dr. Jekyll in us...There's a tension at the heart of human nature. And whenever we set out to dream our dreams and to build our temples, we must be honest enough to recognize it.” -- Martin Luther King Jr. I hope you all have an awesome week!Chris Fluck Breaking Habits is Hard
It was a bittersweet morning yesterday as I woke up, started the tea pot, prepared the French press and started to read a book. This has been my routine for a solid decade but I recently decided that it was time for a change. Today I did something I thought I would never do again: quit drinking coffee. I don't think coffee is evil and should be vilified, I just don't think it is the best for me. I have a slight problem where if I decide to go in on something, I tend to push it a little far. For example, I will either eat zero cupcakes or 5 cupcakes. Once the decision has been made to do it, the flood gates are open. This has been my relationship with coffee as well. It is never one cup and then be good for the day. It is multiple cups drank throughout and eventually, it leads to over consumption. Why is this an issue that needs to be addressed? I am not sure if it is genetic or just poor coping mechanisms to stress but I have had slightly elevated blood pressure for much of my life. Coffee does not help that. When I get all jacked up on coffee, I feel that my responses to stressful situations aren't always ideal and I am not as patient as I would like to be so we are giving this little experiment a go. Stay tuned! What I've Been Thinking About... In Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning he wrote the following: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." This is beautiful in theory but one of the toughest things to follow through and successfully execute. In my personal life, teaching it to kids, or even encouraging my child to follow this advice has led to some difficult moments or conversations. For example, we had a nasty storm this week. Our five year old daughter was not enjoying what Mother Nature was serving up and was starting to get a little scared. We focused on breathing, she covered her ears, and eventually she was able to get back to sleep. The following morning we talked about why we did what we did and told her that she cannot control what goes on around you but you can control how you respond to it. I told her I was proud of her for overcoming her fears but I know that with the next storm, this behavior is most likely going to happen again and this scenario will play out once again. The important part of this whole topic is just because an undesired behavior happens again doesn't mean you failed at teaching the lesson. The lesson may take 1000 attempts, done in a variety of ways for it to last. So when you get to lesson #999 and it doesn't work, don't quit. You never know when it is going to stick and it is on us adults to make sure that we continue to try. What I've Been Watching... This week I started watching the movie Race which tells the tale of Olympic star Jesse Owens. It was a solid movie, one that I watched and/or listened to while doing things around the house. My favorite scene occurred when a group of college students were causing a ruckus in the locker room and talking in a nasty way to some of the black athletes at the school. The coach used this as a moment to tell Jesse to quiet the noise, to focus on what he was saying, and ignore the rest. If you can do that, you can do anything. Owens went on to win 4 gold medals at the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany right in the face of Adolf Hitler. To say it was a tense environment at those games would be an understatement. Hitler was on a quest to prove the superiority of his German athletes and Owens showed up and embarrassed them all. I could only imagine what it must have felt like for Jesse to be in that country, in that stadium, in front of those Nazi's and then to perform the way he did. Talk about blocking out the noise! Health Tip of the Week Should we be acting more like kids? I have to say, if you want to get high level agility and conditioning work out of a group of kids, introduce a fun game and then get out of the way! Earlier this week the kids were sweating, breathing heavy, and smiling as we played a game of Gaga ball with a few fitness elements sprinkled in to the mix. This usually happens when we set up a game of tag, chase, or anything else that brings a little joy to your training. Tremendous effort plus big smiles is a winning combo. Now, for us big kids, it is not unreasonable to try to do the same thing. I think it is safe to say we can all use a little more joy and why not implement it into your physical fitness practice. The fun doesn't have to end once we reach adulthood. So here is my advice for the week: Find something physically active that elevates your heart rate, doesn't feel like punishment and most importantly, puts a smile on your face! Quote of the Week "Friendships born on the field of athletic strife are the real gold of competition. Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust." -- Jesse Owens I hope you all have an awesome week! Chris Fluck What I've Been Listening to...
A few times a year I listen to interviews with Josh Dubin of the Perlmutter Center for Legal Justice. During these chats, he will bring on someone who either was wrongfully accused of a crime or an individual who committed a crime but found themselves punished severely when compared to others who offended similarly. These individuals share their stories and more times than not, tears well up in my eyes. What they discussed in this last episode really blew my mind. Now, depending on where you look, the statistics vary a bit but one thing that is consistent is that a large majority of inmates have a poor education. It is so poor that roughly 60% of prisoners are functionally illiterate. One prison tried to change that and they offered a literacy program to all of their inmates. What they found was that the rate at which someone re-offends and winds up back in prison is roughly 70%. For those that completed the literacy program, that number decreased to 16%! If you can educate the individual, you open up the world to them. It offers a life that they never really felt was possible and can help get them and keep them on the right path. What I've Been Working On... This week I was trying to get across to a group of middle school kids that no matter what we do, we might not be accepted by everyone. It is not an easy topic to broach as it sounds harsh, someone may have told them otherwise, or even that some of these students really focus on accepting others and assume others will as well. At one point, one student put their hand up and told me that everyone has the right to be accepted and I said maybe so, but it doesn't mean that it will happen. Then we dove into how does it feel to not be accepted, thoughts on what to do if that happens, and ways to work through those feelings. The main point of this class was that as an individual, we all have core values. These core values drive our decisions and they end up setting the foundation for who we are and who we become. When it comes to fitting in with others, we cannot capitulate on those things that we deem important. You do not change who you are to fit in with others. If you can stay patient and authentic, you will find those people who will become your people! Health Tip of the Week Remember, there are four buckets of health (mental, physical, social and spiritual) and it is important to make sure each bucket get proper attention. My advice for this week is to do something that helps improve the social aspect of your life. Block some time out on your schedule and make an effort to connect with someone. Take a walk, chat on the phone, grab some coffee, or do something fun and exciting with a group of friends. When you are there with them, make it a point of emphasis to listen more and give your friend some space to share what is going on in their world. Speaking of social gatherings... Barn Event This evening at 4 pm we are having a small event at our barn. Well, actually not we, but rather ME! Marisa and I had a plan to host this together but then she looked at her calendar and realized that she has a horse show (she coaches Lehigh's equestrian team) and will most likely not be available. So, with that being said, I will be going it alone and would like to have some friendly faces show up and help a guy out! The purpose of these gatherings is to build an intentional community of health minded people who want to be proactive with their health, seek solutions to problems, and lastly, to connect with others. We hang in the barn for a bit, share what we have been up to, then have a little chat at the end for those who may have questions. There are usually a few people in the world of health and wellness in attendance so if I don't have an answer, someone else most likely will. It is usually about 5-10 people and my usual anti-social self has been enjoying them. If you cannot make it but are interested in more info on future events, click here and I will keep you in the loop! Quote of the Week "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything." -- Alexander Hamilton I hope you all have an awesome week!Chris Fluck |
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