Remembering Ryan

Eleven years ago, I received a phone call that forever changed my life. It was a Sunday morning and I was working at a private gym on the outskirts of Easton, Pa. In between appointments I went into the office to check the time and noticed I had a missed call from my mother. It wasn’t out of the ordinary to receive a call from her but on a Sunday morning at an early hour, it seemed a little odd. I took a moment to check the voicemail and it was only a few seconds as she asked me to give her a call back. There was something in the tone of her voice that told me this wasn’t just a regular check in. It sounded as if something was amiss. After the session ended I called her back and she said, “He is gone, Chris. Ryan is gone.”

At the time of receiving the news, I didn't have to ask any whys or hows. For over 5 years, my brother was struggling with drug addiction and he just couldn't seem to shake it. As I think back, I wonder if there is anything that could have been done to help steer him in the right direction. Did something happen that led him down the path or was it just a series of events that eventually led him there? I know these types of questions cannot be answered nor do they serve much of a purpose as the past cannot be changed but yet I wonder. I wonder because as I take a look around and play this game of “what ifs”, I ask, “Are we any better off now?”

Since receiving that call, things in America have been continually changing. Life expectancy, for example, saw a rise every decade following World War II until sometime around 2010 where it began to level and since then has fallen. The culprit behind this can be debated but I do know one thing for sure and that is that what is labeled as “Deaths of Despair” (suicide, overdose, and alcohol related death) has been rising at a fast rate. This triad is the fastest rising death rate among Americans and seems to really hit the 25-49 year old demographic hard. These deaths have increased exponentially between the years of 1999 and today. Deaths from drug overdoses increased by nearly 400%, alcoholic liver disease increased by 40.6%, and suicide rates increased by over 40%. In 2022 alone over 110,000 people died from illicit drug use! 

So what is causing all of this?

In 1897, French sociologist Émile Durkheim defined a certain type of death as an “anomic suicides” — anomic meaning alienated — in his book “Le Suicide.” These deaths, he argued, were a result from a breakdown in social equilibrium or social norms, or when individuals believe there is a lack of communal spirit or conclude the government is indifferent to their needs. Those exact feelings are ever present in today’s culture and the result of that is catastrophic. Insecurity, deprivation, the loss of possibilities, the lack of belonging, hopelessness, and social maladjustment lead to negative emotions including loneliness, unhappiness, worry, and stress that in turn lead individuals to experience more pain both physical and psychological. Rising unhappiness may have increased the demand for ways to numb or end despair, such that the cumulative effects show up years later in the form of higher death rates. Today is no different. 

So where does that leave us? 

For many people struggling, destruction of everything is the easy route to take. Reconstruction is difficult and the task seems daunting but I will say this, it will be worth it on the other side. Human beings are resilient and they can overcome. They have done it time and time again over the course of history and will continue to do so. The one amazing thing about all this is that you can accomplish great things too. We are all, after all human and because of that, have the ability to be brave, fight for something that is important, show courage, and conquer whatever setbacks life seems to throw at us. There are so many more things to admire in this world than there are to despise. We just need to open our eyes to them! 

I hope you all have a great week,
Chris